“How to Stay on the Government’s Tit Forever”

"Contrary to what I’d like to report, the socialists have succeeded in the United States—certainly not with our economy, nor with our health care, and definitely not with our borders—but they have made great strides in turning this generation into one big Baby Huey that expects never to be weaned and forever to be coddled upon the “free” mediocre milk that slowly drips from the government’s sagging mammaries. Mammaries, like the corners of my mind. Misty watercolor mammaries, of the way we were.

Sorry. I got lost there for a second. Where was I?"