I am writing today with a somewhat unusual request. Actually, it is a series of requests. First and foremost, I will be asking that you return America to its August 20th, 1959 borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen. I make this request because I don’t like your policies and I don’t like you. If I sound like I’m asking for too much just be patient. I’m only getting started.
I am also asking that you sell the State of Washington to the Canadians. I’ve only been to Washington twice – once to Seattle and once to Spokane. The former was full of liberals and the latter was full of the most aggressive panhandlers I’ve ever seen. It rained on both of my trips to Washington and I really have no use for rainy places."
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