Obama's reverse Midas touch

By Tony Gallardo

"The legendary King Midas was given the gift of the golden touch; everything he touched would turn to gold. Excited at first, he learned the price of greed when the food he tried to eat turned to gold and when he even turned his own daughter into a hunk of gold.

King Obama, twentieth century America, has a magic touch, too. Everything he touches turns to ... well ... donkey dust... owl hockey... bull shavings... bunny pellets... that sort of thing."